Adultery Precept Discussion

[rwtlim]

Hi fellow bros / sis',

I would like to seek advice on the above precept which is so often broken. Hope we can learn from this discussion.

While Adultery in general means no sex outside marriage, many of us tend to have one night stand and after that go back home to be good husband and father. I suppose sometimes the male hormones get the better of us, but how do we control such thoughts. It is almost a daily struggle within oneself - speaking from experience

There is also another scenario where the wife has no interest in sex after giving birth to children and the whole concentration is on children education, well being etc... The husband has no control over the wife hence the only way to ease one's urge is to seek 1 night stand outside.

I wonder what bros think of the 2 scenarios i shared above. Is it still considered adultery in both cases ? I personally feel that adultery is only committed when u have an affair outside marriage. It may not be the Buddha standard......but it is very difficult to control sex drive as bathing in cold water, chanting and shaking it out are just not good measures for control.

I really hope to get honest and trueful feedback so that I can seek to improve. Thks in advance.